do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
