my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
