ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize