You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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