Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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