O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize