you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
