I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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