oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
