Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
