New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
