Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
