it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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