the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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