I showed him my bush... on skype.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
