"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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