sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
