stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
