so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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