I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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