I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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