"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
