He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize