guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
