While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
