I will die if light touches me.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
