What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Operation Purity has been aborted
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize