i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
