Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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