She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
