do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
