The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
