.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
