Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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