I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
