You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
