ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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