Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize