I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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