I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
