I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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