i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
