My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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