it wasn't lemon gatorade
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
