fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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