Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
