Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
