toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
