you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
