Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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