I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
