my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
