why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
