apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
