Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
