i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
