Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
