ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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