you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
